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Is that my golf bag in your pants because I just finished a long drive and I'd like to put my wood in it? It will dazzle and baffle you with highs and lows, successes and frustrations. Amy Alcott, 18. Like chess, golf is a game that is forever challenging but can never be conquered. Harvey Penick, 10. My drives aren't always long and straight. Im a friend and all Im going to do is give it a nice little ride. Sam Snead, 35. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. Golfing is a lot like masturbation. They expect to succeed! The reason most politicians are golfers is that they lie better with more practice & experience. The other 20. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. Twelfth son of the Lama. Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing. And only one secret has emerged, one swing of thought that always works. The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. 21. These funny golf sayings are gathered here from all over the web so that they can serve your purpose. Golf got its name because all of the other four-letter words were taken. There are no time constraints, as there are in other sports. no! Find the ball. Wodehouse, The value of routine; trusting your swing. Joe Tessitore, The least thing upset him on the links. The lowest score wins. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Watch their eyes. ~ George Bernard Shaw. If you think youre standing too close to the ball, make sure youve actually struck it with your club after swinging. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Achieve more with each and every round you play.Go Premium to et full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. Whats the shortest distance between the tee and the hole? The true funniest golf quotes of all time are likely never put to paper and aren't spoken by golfers or celebrities. A young golfer was playing in his first PGA Tour event. A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off. O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. Do you know what the Lama says? Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T? In golf as in life, it is the follow through that makes the difference. Anonymous, 34. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? When a golfer lies, he doesnt have to bring any proof home. These words carry the feeling for those you care about and those who care about you. 3. Why did the golfer have to change his socks? Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots but you have to play where it lies. Bobby Jones, 23. Lorii Myers, Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. 4. Quotes tagged as "golf" Showing 1-30 of 130. Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. "The value of routine; trusting your swing." - Lorii Myers. 19. Bye Bye Birdie. If you want to share these funny golf quotes pictures on social media like Fb, Insta, WhatsApp, or Twitter, you can also do that. Why is Hearts a golfers worst card game? After 18 holes, I can barely walk. I asked my caddie what he thought of my game. A two-foot putt on the practice green doesnt spark many doubts. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? "Hockey is a sport for white men. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. Noah. Spread your legs a little more. Because he thought every day he needed to play around. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I Jack Lemmon, There are many things you can successfully fake in businessbut a good golf swing isnt one of them. Could you in the moment quiet your thoughts and execute? The fourth putt! Roarin' Mcllroy What does a golfer do on his day off? Brent Musberger, If you break 100, watch your golf. Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot Dirty Golf Sayings. "The most important shot in golf is the next one." - Ben Hogan "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald R. Ford "The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie." - Mickey Mantle "To find a man's true character, play golf with him." - P.G. No matter how badly you play, always remember its possible to play even worse. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?" I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. After several minutes of pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, You know, when I was your age, Id hit the ball right over that tree. With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started. Perhaps it's the depth of (often negative) emotion the average golfer feels as a result of the game that inspires him to wax poetic. What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? John shouts back in a nervous voice, Throw me my 8-iron! And it's damn funny. 4. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers , Now, enough talking, lets swing this thing. Eight. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. So, what are your thoughts? Nothing. If you drink, dont drive. She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one. Your second mental problem is concentration. Tiagra. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. GOLF DIGEST MAY EARN A PORTION OF SALES FROM PRODUCTS THAT ARE PURCHASED THROUGH OUR SITE AS PART OF OUR AFFILIATE PARTNERSHIPS WITH RETAILERS. Ted Ray, I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. All lip, no hole. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. That round was so poor, I think Im going to jump into the lake by the 16th and drown myself, I honestly doubt that. 2. -Lee Trevino That means if you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission. Two rounds a day are plenty. As he approached the threesome, he said Hey guys, do you mind if I play through. I chipped in from the rough! An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it's always possible to get worse. Follow These Tips on How To Handle Frustration. They dont have the heart for it. "I'm the best. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. Why didnt the golfer get his homework done? He was perfecting his swing. Noah who? Like a PGA Tour pro once said to his pro-am partners, youre not good enough to get angry. So dont even try it. Golfs three ugliest words: Still your shot. Dave Marr, 36. Success depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character. Arnold Palmer, 52. Look at the size of his putter. Why a carrot as a logo? Why are golf and sex so similar? Are you sure you aren't all four majors because you would be a grandslam? The famed author of Centaur, John Updike wrote about the gentleman's game with some regularity. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Wodehouse, Golf is Not a great sport. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. 2. Where do ghosts play golf in the afterlife? Why not! P. G. Wodehouse, The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman a matter of millimeters. Golf is a puzzle without an answer. The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. So, I'm on the first tee with him. He went up to her, talked to her, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Americans infatuated with golf established country and golf clubs, built ornate clubhouses, laid out inland park courses, experimented with new types of equipment, and even modified time-honored rules. Drop some in the comments! 3 / 10. Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? We have a threesome, care to join us? About 160 yards was his reply. Play golf. Required fields are marked *. document.getElementById("copyright_year").innerHTML = new Date().getFullYear(); We do our best to represent colors accurately, but viewing screens vary from one to another, and from real life. A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Harry Vardon, There is no movement in golf that cannot be made more difficult through diligent study and practice. Andrew Barton Paterson, A boss once told me, Colleen, its not about the meeting, its about the scotch after the meeting. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?. Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? What did the golfer say after performing yoga? Kurt Philip Behm, Golf is an ideal diversion but a ruinous disease. Wanna be my caddy? Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. They have a hard drive. Mark Twain, The average golfer doesnt play golf. Jack Burke, Every golfer worthy of the name should have some acquaintance with the principles of golf course design, not only for the betterment of his game but for his own selfish enjoyment. "The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.". "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off." Bruce Lansky 15 of 50 Scott Halleran/Getty Images "On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. 4. Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? 9. 1. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States and the first to admit a lack of talent on the links. Theres no sense in going to a tournament if you dont believe that you can win it. Tiger Woods, 20. Days when you just dont have it, you dont pack it in, you give it everything youve got. Wodehouse, 31. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. Achieve more with each and every round you play. Showing 1 to 56 of 56 entries Click me to show the form! Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? Pick your favorite one from more than 86 quotes about funny golf with images and use it wherever you like. Dave Hill, My swing is then adjusted / as words take off and fly / And landing safe beyond the trap / to make the devil cry. Because subtraction speaks louder than words. Knock, knock If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the They have been there where we are standing now. Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron. Robert Fuller Murray, I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I havent forgotten how. In your approach to golf, no one can tell you what to do. In case they get a hole-in-one! Don't worry to do dirty jobs. Ewan McGregor, It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. "Gunga galunga gunga, gunga-galunga." Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. "While playing golf today I hit two good balls. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf, golf humor. The smile looks really good on you. Full Text: Thank you for still being my friend even though I only talk about my horse and I smell like a barn. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Ben Hogan, I know I am getting better at golf because Im hitting fewer spectators. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early. Go Premium to get full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. Full Text: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? He said. What did the golfer say to the hip hop dancer? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Please read here for more information. "I'll kiss you on the rain so you get twice as wet". You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will Read more: Hilarious poop jokes that kids will love! "Your game is so bad you had to have your ball retriever re-gripped!" Babe Ruth once said, "It took me 17 years to get three thousand hits in baseball. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines Many golfing terms sound naughty. Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power. Thats incredible. Because it would interrupt their tea time. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you cant improve your lie. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. The mark of a great player is in his ability to come back. Jack Lemmon is probably remembered best for his roles in The Odd Couple and The Apartment. He said. Daphne du Maurier, With many twists and holes life is much like a golf game; without bats, you cannot Play. Sam Snead, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Raymond Floyd. I'm known on the tour for having a lengthy club. My caddy says I should use a hard 7. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle, and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Spice things up with these dirty golf jokes. 6. He also starred with the equally late and great Walter Matthau in one of my favorite movies, Grumpy Old Men. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. I know what to look for. The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. Golf is like doing your taxes. Golf puts a mans character on the anvil and his richest qualitiespatience, poise, restraintto the flame. Billy Casper, 16. The guys who come The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan making a joke, we think, it was hard to tell with him. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. I've been playing golf all day and would love to make you my 19th hoe. Important advice: if you golf during the election, make sure you cast your absent-tee ballot! A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.". Keep your head down. Full Text: The Most Important Things In Life Aren't Things Features: Size: 7x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging. Golf?! Short Golf Sayings And Quotes For Good Luck Shots, Funny Golf Quotes For Ladies And Gentlemen, TOP 30 Best Sayings On Theory | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Sayings On Sweet Love | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Notable Quotes About Subtle | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Quotes About Volunteerism | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Top Quotes About Snuggle | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 27+ Revolutionary Sayings On Hysterical | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Favorite Sayings About Hypocrites | Free Hd Background Images Download, 92+ Meaningful Sayings About Hypocrisy | Free Hd Wallpaper Images Download, 21+ Creative Sayings About Hypnosis | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, 12+ Beautiful Sayings On Hype | Free Hd Background Pictures Download. Phyllis Diller, with her outrageous teased hair and housewife caricature stage persona, was a master of delivery and comedic timing. "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. clubs. On a golf course, nature is neutered. -Bobby Jones Geoff Shackelford, Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration. How Long Does It Take to Play 18 Holes of Golf? Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! After 18 holes I can barely walk. What Is The Difference Between a Golf Skirt and a Tennis Skirt? Required fields are marked *. See more ideas about golf quotes funny, golf, golf quotes. Henny Youngman, Go play golf. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? Why don't golfers ever eat pie? Dirt your body. - Mickey Mantle. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. Unfortunately, it stopped three inches short of the hole dead on line. Tahiti who? "Golf is like a love affair. Besides that, I love to explore. I play Bass. THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. No matter the distance, its through that tall tree over there. Even though youre a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again. The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball-washer on a hole with water hazards. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? It was glorious when you did! Why dont grasshoppers play golf? With the exception of the putter and the driver remember that you hit down on every other shot in golf. Jeff Foxworthy, In order to develop a golf swing, your thoughts must run in the right direction. I just havent played yet. Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this? Your email address will not be published. His comment gets at a few things: the wondrous and fascinating aspects of the game and its tendency to make bold-faced liars of its participants. I . When hes not on the green, you can find him wishing that he was Fortunately hes happy tojust chat about it here until the next time. Without trust, it feels like you and your golf club are on opposite sides of a tug-of-war. Dr. Joseph Parent, 9. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. What do you call a blonde at the driving range? 3. The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course. Dr. Bob Rotella, 49. -Bob Hope Andy to ave a water golf ball retriever for the round with you! Mini Golf Captions. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Robert Fuller Murray, Golf is a fascinating game. On the Green In Two. 3. Of course, after painting the Mona Lisa, you'll likely soon be back to bleeding. I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. Paul Gallico, I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. In the Golf of Mexico! Whos there? One minute youre bleeding. If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. And that thought is: Dont think. Enjoy! "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. I prayed that I would react well if I missed. Chi Chi Rodriguez, 44. And now it will be poisoned for you. With trust, it feels like you and your golf club are partners dancing as one. I give him the driver. It will test your patience. Jordan is a golf lover and the founder of Cyber Caddie. Tahiti. 2. Your email address will not be published. He couldnt stop puttzing around! How the heck did that happen? Why dont skeletons play golf? 2023 Lynn on the Links, LLC All Rights Reserved. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. Golf is a game where the ball lies like crap, but the player lies like a pro. ~ Sijin Bt. Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? Id cry too if I played golf like you. How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome? 150 Puns From All Walks of Life. What do you getll a blonde at the driving range? If you break 80, watch your business.". I`m really worried about myself. The little ball that sat motionless, defying you to hit it. 1. What is a golfers favorite bird? Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines; Dirty Music Pick Up Lines; Dirty Holiday Pick Up Lines; Simpson, Most people play a fair game of golf If you watch them. Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella to the golf course? The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. Your email address will not be published. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't All Spiritual Signs & Inspirational Signs, TV Stands, Media Tables, & Media Furniture, The Most Important Things In Life Aren't Things. Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. Henry Beard, Like clubs inside my golf bag / each verse a different face / Some to drive straight down the course / others lift and then embrace. Why do golfers hate cake? Youngman is credited with inventing the "Take my wifeplease" trope. A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse to play a round of golf together. Why was Cinderella such a poor golfer? Henry Beard, Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? I told my coach I got a new set of clubs for my wife. J.R. Rim, Till saints and angels hymn forevermore / The miracle of your astounding score / And He who keeps all players in His sight / Walking the royal and ancient hills of light / Standing benignant at the eighteenth hole / To everlasting Golf consigns your soul. the flag cant jump. Golf is a game that is special and unique in that there is always something to learn. If we weren't, we'd take up a less infuriating hobby, like knitting. It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing youre a bad golfer. Golfs a game where you shout, FOUR! and score a seven, while writing down a five. Whats the difference between the g-spot and a golf ball? "The most important shot in golf is the next one." You will find the quotes being used everywhere, coming from ordinary people like us, who are just famous. James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. And, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. Not sure who said it, but whoever did understands the game, at times, doesnt make much sense. Golf Club Distance & Driving Distances for Women Golfers, Providing a Community & Womens Golf Resources, How to Build Consistency in Your Golf Game, Golf is Hard. No defenders, no game clock, no excuses. I hope you like it rough because I don't replace my divots. Do you share these funny golf jokes? Ahole in oneis amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. Well have whatever Mac OGrady is smoking. Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go. Have a look at these best picture quotes of funny golf. Just as in life, you are presented with options; its up to you to decide which ones suit you best. Sandra Haynie, 30. It means, in so many words, that if you can golf when the wind is blowing youre a man; if not, youre still a boy. Golf is more complicated than that. Do you know why the game is called golf? Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Ellis Parker Butler, When we watch pro golfers, we expect them to play well, to make the shots we know we cant, and to be entertaining. Grip the club as if you were holding a baby bird. Sam Snead, 58. He hauls off and whacks onebig hitter, the Lamalong, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional Full Text: My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! Their fore-fathers! The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. Its to move on. 7. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty Full Text: Keep Calm and Go For A Run Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging, Full Text: Beware Of Owner ~ The Dog Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. Dont break your heart, but flirt with the possibility. Louise Suggs, 8. Which is the easiest golf stroke? Golf is the easiest game in the world. Whos there? However, every person playing the game has the basis of good mental skills for golf. Please sign up with your best email address. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyones game: its called an eraser. Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently. Think the shot through in advance before you address the ball. Putter Around. There is no such thing as a natural touch. Weve all been humbled by this game and have learned that a sense of humor can be the most important club in the bag. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." I had a terrible round today, I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake. Just ask my ex -wives. Mar 14, 2021 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. Sunday Service. Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? What is the difference between a fisherman and a golfer? Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! All the fans are gone! The friend is quite amazed: That dog is really talented! The formula for success is simple: practice and concentration, then more practice and more concentration. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 19. Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Your fifth putt. Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag? Drops him off at the golf course! Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. George B. Kirsch, Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf. Jim Bishop, I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. 21. 63 Archery Pick Up Lines for Bows & Arrows, 23 Table Tennis / Ping Pong Pick Up Lines, 79 Marching Band and Color Guard Pick Up Lines. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? Sir W.G. In case he gets a hole in one. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. Oh my God, what have I just said?". I have 10 sons, one more and I will have my own football team., To which the Mormon replies, You fellas aint got a clue. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: az11107, jemallor, 21ob, dudedudester1, racke78, mcsheehy54, konczalangelia, fourq2. I'll let you beat me. "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.". Philip Wyeth, Hitting down is an important part of iron play. If you can smoke and drink while youre doin it, its not a sport. Discover and share Dirty Quotes For Women Golfers. Bruce Lansky, Author. Whats the best quality in a golf partner? What does a woman do with her asshole before sex? My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! had to choose, right ? "I was married to her for 35 years." 2. Very interesting. Your email address will not be published. See you in the Email! Share these images with quotes about funny golf with family, friends, mates, colleagues, and all your acquaintances. Beyond this, the comedian and violinist (an epic combination) made the above joke about golf.