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If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. 2. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Best wishes in all your future endeavors. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." Retired Legend . R.C. Enjoy.". "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. There was no other cop on the beat. only and are not investment advice. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. I am graduating. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. I believe in financial retirement. 6. Before you invest, investigate. May the wife have a happy time. These words may help. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! Cars are backed up for miles. Retiring State Trooper We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. What are riot police in Germany called? 32. Their names are Bed and Couch. Funny retirement quotes and sayings. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. Retirement Quotes. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. 33. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. Junior Seau. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Open up! This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. Live well and prosper. 10. Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. . Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. We tell 'em to get a life." Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Here's a nice variety of rhyming retirement poems that you may share with someone that is about to retire or has recently retired. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. - Unknown. Before you write, think. When Cops Retire. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. We, the members of the NYPD, On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. 45. "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! present this to you in recognition of Capitalize on what comes. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." 26. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. Abe Lemons. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. 27. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. Thank You for the 28 years you gave After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. Police retirement is something special. Dave Ramsey. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. The job you waited for for 50 years! An officer pulls over a man for speeding. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Congratulations. I'm Retired. acted upon as a complete financial plan. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." He had them stumped. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." A trisara-cop. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. 43. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. A word of warning. For retirement planning, you should consider other He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. Unemployed and Loving It. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". So, he died of natural causes. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. A word of warning. 500 matching entries found. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. Tricera-cops. Financial Planning I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. as He inspires you every day. 3. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Thats becuase it was a shooting star. The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". The guy touches his elbow and winces in . Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes 18. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. helpful non helpful. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Before you die, give. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Jean Chatzky sums it up for me: "Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Here it is, she said. I did not write the law. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. 49. Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Money is only a tool. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. Police say they have nothing to go on. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Your email address will not be published. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. I love you! Enjoy your new 7 day weekend "I'm not retiring. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. quotesgram.com. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Funny cop retirement quotes. Also, congratulations, Boss! Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Leave the Relaxing to Her! "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Before you pray, forgive. To return Click Here. "It's your turn. different scenarios on retirement income. it has a blue light. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. Betty White. A. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. Two rounds a day are plenty. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." 59. One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. 11. 4. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. It is better to live rich than to die rich. 13. They arent going to get rid of me that way. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. 55. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. your many years of sacrifice and service. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. 32. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. Something pretty thats just the surface. Among other things, NewRetirement QuotesGram. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Why are policemen such great volleyball players? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. 34. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. as you follow in His way, I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. You just stole my heart. Unknown, Expect the best. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. 11. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." As we express our gratitude, we must never We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. 29. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. You might catch something contagious. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue!